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(Contains: sexual themes)
Warnings and Disclaimers:

This work contains adult themes and situations.

Characters in this work are property of their respective owners, I do not own any of them, and do not intend to make any sort of profit off of this work.

This My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction involves shipping. If you don't know what that means, please go read up on it at tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php… before reading.

If you are made uncomfortable by ANY form of romance between ANY two intelligent beings, this fanfiction may not be to your liking. Continue only with caution.

And now, on with the show:





"I've had just about enough of this."

Rarity looked down; The Mule knew its place, and addressed her from the floor, prostrate before her. The fact that it seemed to have forgotten the proper manner of addressing a lady irked her, but she found the mercy necessary to overlook the slight; Rarity had developed a bit of a fondness for The Mule, truth be told, despite its rough looks and lack of grace. She supposed she just had a generous heart, to be able to love such a miserable wretch as this. The purple-maned unicorn sighed. She had been relaxing, but she supposed whatever was bothering her pet should be addressed first; business before pleasure, after all. "Why, what ever do you mean, my dear Mule?"

The Mule paused in thought before replying, "...Well, I just don't think that this is the normal way lovers act. I mean, I don't have much experience with pony courtship, but I've never read about anything like this."

Rarity nodded, feigning concern, "Well, Mule darling, I suppose it's not normal, per se, but normal is for the common sort. Rarity has always demanded the exceptional. You simply haven't read the correct books. Fear not, my little Mule, you can borrow them. I'm sure you'll enjoy them quite as much as I do." Rarity was glad that, for all its unsophistication, the Mule could at least read well.

The Mule seemed only partially convinced. It spoke again, "Well, okay, I guess. But... um... about when we get... intimate. Could you stop calling me a 'dirty disgusting Mule' and raving about how much I sicken you? It sort of hurts my feelings a bit, sometimes. And I'm not sure why you want me to bray when you spank me, or why you spank me so often, for that matter, but it's really weird."

Rarity tilted her head. The Mule had never objected to that sort of thing before; The Mule seemed to enjoy it all as much as she did. "But darling, it adds so much spice. Surely you don't want lovemaking to get boring, do you? Besides, we both know what being spoken down to does to you, and that certainly helps things along, and a little discipline is such delightful foreplay. You certainly didn't seem to mind it last night." The Mule blushed at the reminder of its usual tastes.

"Alright, I guess that makes sense. But could you at least stop calling me Mule? It's a bit offensive. And possibly racist, I'm not really sure. You used to call me by my real name." The Mule looked up at Rarity pleadingly.

The dressmaker clicked her tongue in annoyance, "Fine. I will occasionally call you by your name. But you must remember to address me properly from now on. In any case, I grow weary of this conversation," Rarity extended a hoof out toward her Mule, "You may now lick my hoof clean."

The mule responded in a tone of resignation, "Yes, Miss Rarity."




***




That hadn't gone how she had wanted at all. Twilight Sparkle sighed to herself as her tongue worked; she supposed that she'd just have to get used to being called Mule.
I wrote this because the concept amused me.

After A Dog and Pony Show, I knew I wanted to ship Rarity with a mule, and after a bit of thinking, this idea popped into my head, and I pretty much had to write it as soon as I could. Sorry it's so short; any more detail and it would have moved away from humor and into other territory.

Marked as mature content due to sexual themes.

This peice is intended as humor, but if it... er... does it for you, then good on ya, glad I could help.
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:iconemoponywolf:
EmoPonyWolf Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
xD HA!! funny!
Reply
:iconbakimono:
bakimono Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2011
I kind of ruined this one's ending for myself, as I read the other "Mule" Story you have here first. I forget exactly how I got there, but since it goes full out naughty as opposed to this one merely being mature material, I was happy to see some of the earlier interaction as Mistress and Mule. Lovely work, keep it up. It brings me joy, and... other feelings, but mostly joy, totally.
Reply
:iconqueen-cynder:
Queen-Cynder Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2011
LOL, wonderful twist at the end :XD:
Nice story
Reply
:iconmadman12000:
madman12000 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011
I thought it was going to be RD or FS, but funny little story. Lol, the mule better know how to read considering its day job.
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011
Indeed, I thought that it was a rather subtle hint.
Reply
:icontamanou:
tamanou Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2011
I now want to know more about mules in Equestria... :)

I am also in the weird habit of trying to translate MLP situations to the real world, and for some reason it becomes even funnier when I think of a human woman who for some reason finds pretending her sub is of a completely different ethnicity makes the whole thing much sexier... :XD:
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2011
So do I, definitely. There are a lot of implications that the existence of mules (Sterile results of crossbreeding donkeys and horses) in Equestria would have.

Oh Rarity, you so racist.

Thanks for reading!
Reply
:icontamanou:
tamanou Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
If the sub has anything to speak of, Twilight should require Rarity paints stripes on herself and pretends to be a zebra. ;)
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
An amusing thought, though I doubt that Rarity would let paint anywhere near her coat.
Reply
:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I like the idea of miss prim and proper falling for a "dirty mule" reminds me of a episode of futurama
Reply
:icontamanou:
tamanou Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
No, there is that. :XD:
Reply
:iconepslionbear:
EpslionBear Featured By Owner May 11, 2011
I will respond with a picture :D

[link]

Enjoy
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner May 11, 2011
Wat.
Reply
:iconautomoda:
Automoda Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2011   Filmographer
Bravo! Genius.

One has to read it twice. Once with the mule in your mental image, and then once more with Twilight.
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2011
Glad you like it. How the reader perceives it definitely changes after the reveal.
Reply
:iconsorcerushorserus:
SorcerusHorserus Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
What a delightful twist ending. :D
Thanks for the great story.
Reply
:icondraculabus:
draculabus Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2011
genius. kinky rarity is best rarity.
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2011
Hehe, thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconbrotherprickle:
BrotherPrickle Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Splendid! I think there should be a sequel about Rarity learning to submit. Perhaps a little forcibly, but all in good fun?
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
Hmm, I certainly wouldn't mind reading such a sequel, but it doesn't appeal to me enough that I think I would write it well. I'm sure you could do a better job on it than I.
Reply
:iconbrotherprickle:
BrotherPrickle Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I might get on that soon enough. I just got a good idea for Trixie being put "in her place" though... I'll debate back and forth a bit on this.
Reply
:iconpollardy:
pollardy Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
rarity is best pony
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
She does have a certain sophistication. Thanks for reading.
Reply
:iconshad-phoenix:
Shad-Phoenix Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
Domme Rarity is the best Rarity!
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
I know, right? It just fits, somehow.
Reply
:iconshad-phoenix:
Shad-Phoenix Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
It's the noble, high-class way she acts, I guess.
Reply
:icongallantlionheart:
GallantLionheart Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
after the mule racist line all i can think of is pleasantville pony style :\
Reply
:iconneko244:
Neko244 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
The ending got me there! :XD: Great story.
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
Thanks for reading, glad it amused you.
Reply
:icondon-ko:
Don-ko Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
the ending is shocking! In a good way)
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
Glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconshippingandhandling:
shippingandhandling Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
I giggled like a schoolgirl.
Reply
:iconladyfoxling:
LadyFoxling Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL Didn't see the part with Twilight Sparkle coming xD

Loved that episode, I've been waiting ages for somepony to get kidnapped (but I guess that's cuz a part of me is diehard for the old 80's ponies. Good times.) I felt bad for the mules when Rarity was dissin' em though xD
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
I know, right? I was going to ship Rarity with a mule to karma her, but my train of thought got off track and I ended up writing this instead. I still want to ship her with a legit mule, though, because that would be amusing as well.
Reply
:iconjkwleisemann:
jkwleisemann Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2011
You *know*, you *could* always turn the tables on this story.

Ship Rarity with the Mule, and have her forced to grovel and apologize for slandering her Master.
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2011
I could, but I don't think I'd be able to do it very well. The idea just doesn't resonate with me very well.
Reply
:iconladyfoxling:
LadyFoxling Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You could randomly ship her with the mule from Applebuck season xD

Twilight: That pony is stubborn as a mule.
Mule: *brays from beside her*
Twilight: Oh--no offense!
Mule: None taken.
Reply
:iconnines-tempest:
Nines-Tempest Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
So... Twilight... is... and Rarity... and... controlling... Uhm... Okay.
Reply
:iconpurplehayabusa:
purplehayabusa Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Oh jeez.. the inclusion of Twilight at the end just made my day XD I can totally see everypony being Rarity's bitches. Either way, great story :)
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
Thanks a ton.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
Huhwhuzzahwhubbahuh? :V

This is incredibly silly. <:E
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
Yes. Yes it is.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
So very, very silly. And kind of hot.
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
That's pretty much exactly what I was going for with this one.
Reply
:iconbadgerhead:
Badgerhead Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
Ha ha I actually thought it was the mule from Applebuck Season episode
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
That's what I originally was going to write, but then the spirit of M Night Shama-whatever overtook me and I had to add a delicious tweest.
Reply
:iconpurplehayabusa:
purplehayabusa Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
M Night Shyamalama-ding-dong. XD
Reply
:iconbadgerhead:
Badgerhead Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
Twilight Sparkle is more tasteful than the mule anyway
Reply
:iconebonmane:
EbonMane Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
Are you a mule racist like Rarity? I'm sure he's a very nice mule and anypony would be lucky to have him.
Reply
:iconbadgerhead:
Badgerhead Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
I was just kidding :noes: He's had even less air time than Luna though, and was really only there for the sake of the joke.

But I bet the mule would be upset about Rarity's thoughts on them though
Reply
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March 12, 2011
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