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Warnings and Disclaimers:

Characters in this work are property of their respective owners, I do not own any of them, and do not intend to make any sort of profit off of this work.

This My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction involves shipping. If you don't know what that means, please go read up on it at… before reading.

If you are made uncomfortable by ANY form of romance between ANY two intelligent beings, this fanfiction may not be to your liking. Continue only with caution.

And now, on with the show:

As she walked toward Sweet Apple Acres, Twilight's thoughts lingered on Rarity's briefing. Rarity had described many qualities that she wanted in her ideal stallion, and seemed to want to know whether Big Macintosh qualified on every count. "I want a stallion that's strong and athletic, but not a show-off. I'd like him to be well-read and intelligent with good business sense. And of course he absolutely must be neat and organized. Oh, and good fashion sense is essential," Rarity had told her.

Twilight had raised an eyebrow, "So basically you want him to be the opposite of his sister?"

Rarity had paused, considering, "Well I hadn't really thought of it in those terms, but I suppose you could put it that way. It's not that I don't like Applejack, darling, she's a good friend, but her... ah... unique charms aren't really what I want in a stallion to spend the rest of my life with. You see what I mean, don't you, Twilight dear?"

Twilight, of course, had seen. Rarity and Applejack could rarely go as much as a week without getting into some major fight or another, though they were able to make up every time. Even with her admittedly incomplete knowledge of romance, she could understand that it would most likely be impossible to go out with someone you got into fights with constantly. Who could put up with something like that, and why would they?

Twilight arrived in due time at the farm that Big Mac ran with his sister. Rolling hills covered in apple trees spread into the distance, and Twilight was reminded uncomfortably of the vision she had shared with Rarity. Still, she had a job to do, so she pushed the distraction to the back of her mind and looked around for her target; it was fortunate, considering the size of the farm, that he was nearby and easy to spot.

Big Mac was in the act of placing barrels under apple trees in anticipation of the bucking season when Twilight approached. She called out, "Hello Big Mac! How's it going?"

The large red stallion turned from his work with a smile, "Why howdy Twilight. What brings you 'round ta Sweet Apple Acres? Lookin' fer Applejack?"

"Actually, Big Mac, I was looking for you," Twilight replied, giving the cover story Rarity had made her practice repeatedly as an excuse to try and determine whether Big Mac's intelligence was up to Rarity's standards, "You see, I was going over the library catalog when I found a book on historical developments in agriculture in Equestria. It mentions the Apple Family as owners of Sweet Apple Acres over a hundred years ago. I thought you might be interested in reading about your ancestors." Twilight used magic to float the book in question out of her saddlebag and showed Big Mac. In truth, she had found it ages ago, but hadn't expected Applejack to appreciate any book, even one about apple farming, and never even thought about Big Mac.

Inspecting the book, Big Mac smiled, "Why, thank yeh kindly Twilight, but ah already have this one."

The simple statement took Twilight completely by surprise; she had anticipated several possible reactions Big Mac might have had when presented with the dry, obscure historical tome, but him being familiar with it had certainly not been one of them. "You own a copy?"

"A-yep. It's some-where on one o' tha shelves back at tha house. Been months since ah've cracked that par-tic-u-lar tome," the huge stallion drawled.

Twilight raised an eyebrow, "I hadn't pegged you for the bookish type Big Mac. No offense. I know Applejack doesn't read much."

"Don't ah know it," Big Mac sighed, "Applejack ain't never had much use fer book learnin'. She's more 'bout kickin' and luggin', which leaves all the plannin' and figurin' to yours truly. Along with a good share ah the kickin' and luggin, o'course. When yeh run a farm, yeh need some-pony with book smarts around."

Twilight was genuinely interested in the turn of the conversation. "What specific sorts of things do you need to know to run a farm, Big Mac? I've never researched it much," Twilight asked, enthusiasm evident in her voice.

"Well..." the larger pony replied, evidently gathering his thoughts, "Yeh gotta know everythin' there is tah know 'bout apples and apple trees, how to re-cog-nize blights an' mold an' pests, an' how tah deal with those, o'course. Fertilizin's real important, so knowin' who's sellin' tha stuff an' what it costs an' if the seller's cuttin' it with sawdust or somethin' ta try an' pull a fast one on ya. Gotta talk to tha weather ponies tah know when tha' storms are comin' and when yeh can work fine, an' know which weather ponies can find a few mis-placed coins or apples and con-ven-ient-ly farget ta leave any clouds o'er Sweet Apple Acres or send more rain our way, dependin' on what we need. Say hi ta yer friend Rainbow Dash fer me, by the way, will ya? An' a farm's like any business; yeh gotta keep tha accountin' right or yeh won' know where yer money went at tha' end a tha' month. Gotta know the prices and suppliers fer any number ah things, barrels, carts, chemicals, an' buildin materials, jus' off the top ah ma head, an' how ta get 'em shipped cheap an' on time. An' o'course yeh gotta know tha price 'a apples all 'round Equestria, so yeh know how much ta ship out an' how much ta sell local. An speakin' a local, yeh gotta go ta city council meetins', ta make dern sure they ain't gonna hoof ya over on zonin', turnin' ag-ri-cul-tur-al inta re-si-den-tial o' some such foolishness. An that's jus' tha basics."

Twilight's eyes had grown wider and wider over the course of the speech, and when it ended, she looked on in stunned silence, her eyes wide as Big Mac smiled down at her.

"And of course," Big Mac added in an accent that would not be a hair out of place in the court at Canterlot, "You have to speak with a certain accent and diction, or the other farmers won't respect you, and the farm supply vendors will. As a shrewd businessman, I know that I want neither of those things to happen. I'm sorry I don't come by the library, Twilight. I'd like to, but I get all my books delivered in unmarked boxes. I've got a reputation to maintain."

Twilight's jaw dropped.

"A-yep. Ah trust yeh not ta spread that 'round all that much, on account of Applejack tellin' me yer a good friend. Now ahv got work ta get back ta. So long Twilight, thanks for bringin' that book 'round."

With that, Big Macintosh pulled his cart to the next line of apple trees, leaving Twilight to slowly make sense of what she'd just heard.
Rarity has asked Twilight to determine whether Big Mac is up to Rarity's high standards. Does Big Macintosh exceed expectations?

Sorry for the short update, but I found this to be a good place for a chapter end. More to come soon.
Add a Comment:
jaymiejordan Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012
he always made me feel like he was hiding something.i know this isnt part of the real mlp fim but im just gonna keep on thinking hes booksmart anyway.this has an a in my book so far.
Wolfyrn Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2012
i lol at the thought of bookish Big Mac.
duckboy314 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2011
Oh lol.
EvilPaladin11 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
High society Big Mac with Blue Blood's accent?
*Clinks Guinness* BRILLIANT!!
EvilPaladin11 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
I like how Big Mac openly admits to bribery.
Cerberusx32 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2011
Dam...I knew about Apple business, but that last part through me off.
SomethingVeryWitty Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
all your big words confuse my sleep-madness-addled brain >_<
blood99 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2011
where is part 1
EbonMane Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2011
I just moved it to the correct gallery folder.
blood99 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2011
madman12000 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011
Clearly he has knowledge beyond even fancy mathematics. Great bit with the voice, btw.
EbonMane Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011
TheDragonWarlock Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2011
MacinSparkile or Raritosh? The plot thickens. :D
DiscoLeprekawn Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2011
Good lord. Words cannot describe the sheer awesome radiating from this.
EbonMane Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2011
That's just how Big Mac rolls.
phroexx Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011
Oh, ebonmane, the world is better with you in it.
EbonMane Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011
I try.

Thanks for reading!
StormofThunder Featured By Owner May 13, 2011
And then everything made sense.

Twiliight x Mac goooo! :dummy:
EbonMane Featured By Owner May 13, 2011
EpslionBear Featured By Owner May 11, 2011
I do believe I like this version of Big Macintosh

I will enquire more of this tale
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Twilight-Mac just became believable!
StormofThunder Featured By Owner May 13, 2011
thelovelypenguin Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2011
I like this version of Big Mac.
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011
I see a jealous Rarity in the future~
Pimpslap-MeGee Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
That mid-paragraph using Big Mac's accent must of been one hell of a job. Good work, so far~
DizzyPacce Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
Twilight's gonna fall for him now, isn't she?
useraccount Featured By Owner May 7, 2012
Between this and their shared love of Smarty Pants, maybe!
sonicboom679 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011   Writer
wat. wat is this. Gentleman Big Mac? A combination of several of my dreams just came true.
paulinaghost Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
didn't see that coming. =) He might be perfect for rarity. =)
Add a Comment:

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Submitted on
February 21, 2011
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